After your divorce you may have found a way to manage with the every day life of being a single parent. You and your children have probably figured out a routine and have found a way to manage things efficiently. However, you have now found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. In an ideal situation he not only loves you but loves your children and wants to provide for them as well. He may be bringing children into the marriage also.
Even in the best situations where everyone gets along and everyone is happy for this new union, problems will arise as you blend your families together into a family unit. Adding a new child or children to your family unit as you and your new spouse have children together can add another component to an already difficult situation. However, it is definitely not hopeless.
Blending your family together efficiently does not have to be as difficult as it may seem. Spend time together often before the big day. Find time to get all of the children together doing fun activities. Ease them all into the idea of becoming a family and living together. Some of the children may only be visiting and may not be living with the family on a regular basis. Find ways to include these children as much as possible when they are in the home. Help them to feel like part of the family rather than visitors.
One of the most important aspects of blending a family successfully is to stop making distinctions. If your goal is to truly “blend” your family you need to remember that you are just that, a family! Do not make a distinction between “step” parents and “real” parents. Do not divide the children into “his” and “hers.” Just be a family!