As you begin to demand respect from your children and begin to set limits for them you may find that they may resist and may even resort to talking back more and more. Setting very specific boundaries and not allowing your child to go over those boundaries is important in your overall success.
For instance, if your child comes back at a suggestion from you with a comment such as “duh” and a roll of the eyes, make it very clear to your child that that is not an acceptable comment. You may need to have a preset consequence for such behavior. Unacceptable attitudes need to have consequences and you need to stick to them just as you would with unacceptable language such as swearing. When your child slips up and uses bad language or a bad attitude you must stick with your original consequences and follow through. This will reinforce to your child that certain behaviors and words are not acceptable.
Learn what is truly behind your child’s lashing out. Acknowledging to your child that you understand they are angry rather than reacting to the anger can many times defuse the situation. Stay firm in your resolve that your child cannot talk back to you, but at the same time seek for a reason behind your child’s anger or frustration. Many times you may have to wait until you both cool down a bit to delve into the reasons behind your child’s negative behavior. You may find that you can make some changes to alleviate future issues as well. Talking through issues after they arise can help you to come up with a solution you can both live with for next time and can ensure fewer issues in the future.